Realizations from Lolita Fashion

Hello! Long time no post. I'd like to thank anyone who's been waiting for posts with baited breath. Thank you very much for your patience. I've honestly haven't been very busy at all, especially with being in between jobs (this has been a terrible, terrible year for me - I probably should move to state that actually has jobs), and with that weighing on my mind, I haven't felt all too inspired to make a post, put together coordinates (doesn't help that it's been hot out), nor mustered up any courage to host meets for my local community.

It's really bumming me out because the annual Midwest Megameet (or Chicago mega meet) is coming up in less than two weeks, and I've had a lot of plans that I was hoping to put in forth this year such as putting together goodie bags, buying lots of raffle prizes (really wanted to collect a bunch of brand novelty items), and search around auctions for the right pieces to coordinate.

Hopefully, I can feel satisfied putting together a coordinate with pieces I already own, still have fun at the meet, and that next year my financial situation improves greatly.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

A few days ago, someone on Rufflechat asked:

What was your biggest realization when you finally started getting more involved in the fashion?

I originally thought of replying on the thread, but saw that my response was going to be too long. Here are a couple of things that I realized when I got more involved in the fashion:

1) Quality over Quantity:
I'm not going to go through this much since it's been said many times when the topic periodically pops up, but like a lot of lolitas, I've come to be a more conscious consumer. I used to never care about garments so long as they fit and was cheap. 

2) It's more than just clothes: It can change lives:
I don't know why, but this fashion does tend to attract people who suffer from mental illness, and I've read a number of stories about how people have found solace through it by finding others like themselves to talk to and feeling happier in frills for a day.

Fortunately, I don't quite belong in that camp, but while it looks like silly clothes, I've found that it has changed my life considerably as well. I was always a pretty shy kid and growing up, I only had a few friends I can easily relate to (I guess that's still true), but getting into lolita helped me reach out to people rather than waiting for them to reach me.

I've done a lot of event planning for the local park district and have gone to big events like festivals, but being involved in lolita fashion continues to fuel one of my dreams of being a professional event planner. I really love seeing people come together over a common interest.

3) I can makeup and dress better now 
This is another common realization that comes with the fashion. I was a tomboy for many years and it wasn't until I got into lolita that I started caring about how I present myself, put practice, and understand how clothes are supposed to fit.

4) Being a lolita is tough
This goes without saying for other street youth fashions, but I feel like this is especially true with lolita fashion because it's less familiar in the mainstream. I know a lot of people who are mere admirers of the fashion and so I hear a lot of, "It's so cute, but I could never wear it", and I notice that while there are many lurkers in online communities, only a handful actually make the effort to obtain the fashion and wear it.

The next step is learning how to deal with curious on-lookers and people who approach with questions and comments (good or bad). I've heard of people leaving the fashion because it was hard to enjoy the fashion without having to deal with such people.

I've also heard of and know people who've left lolita because of the communities. It can be really discouraging to have to put up with trolls, drama pages, vendettas, and even just facing criticism. One really must be able to handle all of this and find many rewarding factors to be able to get into and stay in the fashion.

And last, but not least, we've come to the point of in the fashion that people question how long one would be willing to continue to wear lolita as they age. Fortunately, we've got people like Yumi Fujiwara of Innocent World who still do, and it's my hope that there will be plenty of us old-timers getting together for a break outside of our otherwise boring adult lives for tea in frills.

What are some things you realized when you got into lolita?

A Few Tools to Make Your Daily Routine a Little More Romantic

Write your notes down with effortlessly beautiful brush pens. 
Tombow Brush Pens





Make your ice cubes a little more kawaii with these molds

Secure your chip bag with these:

Make and use "tea bag" scented sachets

You can place them in your dresser drawers, or if you live or work in the city, carry them with you to relieve yourself from unsightly city smells. 

Use rose water toner to freshen up your face

I'm a long time fan of this product!

                                          Read poetry once a day with the Poetry Daily App

Of course, you can't go wrong with Sanrio themed kitchenware. 

There's something oddly familiar about this apron...

                                                 Or maybe you prefer something more Gothic?
                                                         

Or something of Old World Elegance?

Floral Shower Cap from Forever21

For more shabby chic goodness

What are your favorite tools to brighten up your day?

Miscellaneous: Meets to Anticipate, Real and Imagined

Whoo! Double-posting because I don't feel like going to the gym today!

I do not have any plans to host meet ups until the fall because many of the more anticipated meets happen in Chicago in the late spring through summer, including a Downtown Abbey costume tour and tea party, Anime Central and Midwest, and the Midwest Mega Meet. I've got several job interviews lined up recently, so I don't know if I can make plans for summer lolita day (hopefully I can get the jobs with weekends off), but fortunately, a friend in the Quad Cities is looking to host a meet at a newly opened bakery in her area which features a private party room for reservations.

She wants to encourage people to wear their sweetest coords which I do not do, but at the same time, I feel excited to participate in since it'll be outside my comfort zone and I could use some experimenting with my coords. I'm thinking about wearing the black Marchen ribbon jsk I recently acquired via Closet Child (I can't believe I've been in lolita this long and haven't bought anything from there until last month) to match Miki, the Milk-Chan pochette. That jsk is probably the sweetest item in my closet, but it seems so tame and more on the otome spectrum compared to iconic/typical sweet pieces like Sugary Carnival and Jewelry Jelly. I also have the My Tart jsk from Lief which I've worn quite often already, but would probably match the bakery better (maybe I could get pastry themed jewelry to match?).

I know that lolita is meant to be a fashion and not a costume, but sometimes I feel a little self-conscious about wearing a main piece more than once, even though it'll be coordinated differently. Maybe it has to do something with the numerous outlets and constant bombardment of "outfit-of-the-day" posts. Maybe not. It's sort of something I'm accustomed to seeing in spite of the current rate of posts, but it always seems like people tend to wear a newly acquired main piece every meetup. Do you feel this way sometimes too?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last month, I found someone whom I thought was from my area, but is actually closer to and is a mod of the Saint Louis area lolitas, and we talked about the possibility of having a downstate meet for the Illinois and Missouri communities. Unfortunately, there are very few half-way points that are interesting AND lolita friendly.

Last night, I remembered that many years ago, some lolitas upstate have done meetups at Bed and Breakfasts.

Meetup 1
Meet up 2   (sorry for the broken/missing images :< these were eons ago)

And then I thought, "If we're going to travel so far, we might as well stay there." This lead me to my discovery of the Park Ave. Mansion Bed and Breakfast in Saint Louis. The neighborhood shops may not be the Midwestern flagships for Lolita brands (seriously, when is Chicago getting their own brand boutique?), but the mansion and neighboring grounds are heavenly!

It sucks that there are only four available rooms (two people per room), so you can't exactly cram a lot of petticoats, but I imagine it being practically the perfect place to stay for the weekend (at least around these parts). There are several other B&Bs in the city, but this one seems to be my favorite because of the amenities (uh, tea service, hellooo?) and the atmosphere. I imagine it being fun meeting up with the STL lolitas and having a picnic, a stroll, and all of the photo ops at the park across the street. The cozy library would be perfect for a couple of rounds of Lolitas Against Humanity, and I wouldn't turn down starting my day with breakfast in the garden.

I wouldn't say it's my dream meetup, but it's quite close!

My ultimate lolita dream is to be able to afford to travel all around the world and meet lolitas in their respective communities. For years, I've seen videos and pictures of different communities around the world, and it's really interesting to see how much the fashion has grown and what each community offers.

What's your ultimate lolita dream?

Meet-up Report: Pettingill-Morron House

Hello Frilly-Folks!

I've finally gotten around hosting a meet up at a local historic home, The Pettengill-Morron house where the eight of us met up for a private picnic in the backyard, followed by a tour of the house itself. I never really liked taking part in or hosting picnic meets because of the unpredictable Midwestern weather, but it was gorgeous out, and we could not have picked a better day to dine en
plain air.

The Pettengill-Morron House 

(source: peoriapublicradio.org)

The affair was BYOB, but people brought in a few things to share including some yummy scones from Panera, fudge brownies, cucumber sandwiches, and tomato-basil-and mozzarella cheese. It was the first time two girls from the Quad Cities came down to Peoria for a meet up, however, everyone clicked quite easily over our love for all things geeky. 

It's unfortunate that we weren't allowed to take photos (with the exception of no flash photography AND if there are people in the photo, but we weren't allowed on the furniture, so it kind of felt pointless to try) because the interior is amazing (you can get a gist of it through the house's and Miss Jean Morron fb page). The house is said to be the oldest standing residential structure in the city and it had been home to several people, and so the historical society kept treasures of its previous owners, meaning we got to view different eras in the house and there was detail overload (seriously wish we were allowed to take photos); it felt like I could be in a room for hours and see an artifact or interior design choice I've never seen before. 

An uncanny fact about the house: The original owners did not believe in having domestic servants, although they'd have staff who'd come by every so often, however, for some unknown reason, the house has a servant living quarter off the back of the house with a hidden staircase leading to the kitchen. We've speculated that it might have to do with the blue-print standards of mansions in the day, but for whatever reason, it exists and is decorated to resemble Ms. Jean Morron's dorm from her time at Smith College.

There were no heirs to take over the house and her possessions after she passed on, but we found ourselves with slight envy of her fulfilling life which including being well-off and teaching at the local high school until her early retirement that involved traveling around the world with her dogs.

After the meet up, we took photos at the front of the house and slowly parted ways, leaving half of us going to 3030 for some iced coffee and tea. 

Coord rundown:

Hat: H&M (with faux roses pinned)

Blouse: Off-brand (I swear, it's not off-white)

Wristcuffs: Unknown Taobao shop

Necktie: Atelier Pierrot (cameo was a gift from the 2nd comm mod)

JSK: IW

OTKs: Ebay (iirc, it's an IW replica -boooo)

Shoes: Antaina

(unseeen: purse from Evil Live/Lolita Collective & Btssb Milk-Chan Pochette dubbed Miki-Chan)

Here's our little group (sans SOs)! 

If you ever go downstate Illinois, be sure to make an appointment to tour this beautiful home! 

Lolita Moments of the Day

Some of you might recognize the title of this blog post from (the oh-so-spooky) cgl, 4chan's board for cosplay and Japanese street fashion, most notably, lolita fashion. It's quite often that one would see lolita fashion-nostalgia related threads such as the old-school lolita thread, and someone had posted a really cute idea from EGL's yesteryears:

And I thought it'd be a great idea to start adding filler posts about my efforts to live my days a little more pleasant than usual.

Today, I had decided to take a break from going to the gym (I've decided to pick back up on weight lifting again - so rori ~ ) and instead, spend my afternoon visiting my favorite cafe to work on replying to a lolita penpal while wearing lolita.  Here's what she sent me with her letters:

A pad of Pullip themed post-it notes and 3D scrapbook pieces! Btw, the people in the back ground are J.Dilla (R.I.P), Nas, and Madlib who had previously collaborated in a bonus track called "The Sickness". Check it.

I tried to take a photo of my coordinate, but it was too dark and blurry, however, it felt really nice to go out even in a casual/borderline otome outfit because lately, in spite of all of the time I have to get dolled up, I've been feeling quite apprehensive about wearing lolita. I don't know why exactly, but sometimes it feels like too much to be wearing my frills out in public, let alone trying it on and figuring how to coordinate; I often feel overwhelmed just looking at my closet or thinking about it, and so I normally end up going out in a tee-shirt and jeans.

I don't quite want to give it up yet. Maybe it has to do something with being a semi-lone lolita? I have a local community, but everyone's kind of spread out, too busy, and/or sometimes too new to wear lolita with. Maybe it also has to do with living in a very muggle area and something about the Midwestern mentality of not wanting to cause a scene.

Is it strange that in spite of wearing lolita for many years, I often feel uncomfortable wearing anything remotely dressed up on my own while not having anything terribly traumatic happen to me while wearing lolita?

A car accident occurred while I was in the middle of the writing. Fortunately, no one was seriously injured and the police station was nearby, but it was spooky witnessing it so closely. I don't even recall hearing the sounds of the cars colliding (there was, but it happened so quickly); I was too fixated on how easily and smoothly the force of the assaulting car careened the driver's door of the assaulted car. It reminded me of those "oddly satisfying" gifs.

In spite of not being involved in the accident (aside of notifying emergency services), I was pretty shaken up from the incident and it made me think that in spite of my good driving record, that could it happen to me. I often travel far for meetups and it spooks me to think that it could happen and what would happen to me if I didn't make it out alive (of course, my parents worry about it, especially every time I do go out of town). Naturally, paranoia settled in on the drive back home. 

I hope to all of the deities that I get to live a long, healthy, and productive life, but if not, I suppose I'll have to let a trusted friend and member in the community, preferably someone who has worn lolita for a long time and knows how to sell their wardrobe to take care of selling my wardrobe, starting off with discounting pieces for other friends in the community, and then using putting the money toward funeral expenses - hopefully a "green" burial and/or donating my body or body parts to science. I'm such a hippie; I feel guilty for contributing to global warming that I don't want to further contribute to that and further ruining the health of a mortician, and I'm not gothic (lolita) enough to want a post-mortem-like viewing service (plus I think it's gross/weird for people to do ceremonial things to a dead body, even though the reality is that the living body is far dangerous than a dead one).

Of course, knowing me and how much I love to write/type, this was going to be longer than it could have been, but I applaud you for staying with me on this journey, and I want to know what sort of "Lolita Moments of the Day" you have and what sort of things you'd want sorted out before and after your gone. 

If you're really onto the subject of death (you dern gothic lolitas and EGA folks), what sort of funeral would you want? Would you want to be buried in your dream dress? Any choice of music and atmosphere? I personally want to have the original Lavender Town theme song played in it, and a wine and cheese bar for the reception would be nice too because I like that stuff and want people to enjoy it while they can!

Hopefully, these kinds of posts will be more frequent and brief, but if you want to see me get more philosophical, then I'm more than happy to share my views and read yours!

Aldi's Specially Selected Macarons Review

Long time no post! I'm sorry I've been away for so long. Life likes to happen sometimes, and sometimes there's very little to feel inspired enough to post. I do hope that you follow my instagram account though (lily_the_frilly). It's (unfortunately) more active than my blog page and has twice the "lolita lifestyle" fodder for your viewing pleasure. In the mean time, I'll leave you with a quick review of macarons that are currently being sold at Aldi's, according to a lolita humor member.


They're smaller than most I've had (roughly 1.5" in diameter and 3/4" thickness), however tasty, and reasonably priced (about $4/box). I was expecting a hard, crunchy shell, followed by a soft (and cold) meringue filling, but it's actually quite soft all around (the shell is still quite delicate; I guess there's no elegant way of eating these). Each box includes two sets of flavors: raspberry, vanilla, pistachio, salted caramel, lemon, and chocolate.

I've only  had salted caramel, raspberry, and pistachio so far, and while small, they have bursts of flavor (I guess the size led to a concentration of flavor?)!

I wish this was an April Fool's joke, but unfortunately, they are are around for a limited time (no set time, but I assume they were an Easter season item and each store will only sell what they have). On the upside, if you have the money and room in your freezer (because who needs meat?), you can stock up on boxes of these since the expiration date goes through 12/2017.

So far 9/10 (for not being big enough and not being a regular item T-T)

Let me know what you think of them!

Meetup Update: Galentine's Day

My community decided to have an afternoon tea and crafting meet at a mod's house on February 13th, and although it was a small affair, we had a lot of fun eating cute sandwiches and sweets, and making cards for each other and loved ones.

I originally planned on wearing a wig, but I overslept and woke up the time I was supposed to have left the house. Thank goodness I had prepped my coord on the previous night. This is actually a re-creation of my coord since I didn't have time to take a photo. And I thought that I would wear a red main piece, but I thought that the head-bow, socks, and necklace would go better with this, and I wanted to wear those accessories since they were gifts from friends <3

Head-bow: Sweet Mildred (gift from the hostess!)
Blouse: Metamorphose
JSK: Lief (my wishlist dress! I always see it in lavender and never in black!)
Socks: Angelic pretty (they have hearts on them!)
Shoes: Antaina
Necklace: gift (I'll let you in the source later!)

I'm going to try to keep posting coords, even though I'm not very photogenic nor wear interesting/ott pieces. I usually don't go overboard with the stickers, but I couldn't help messing with them through this cute app called Bestie. It's sort of like purikuta with an instagram interface. Check it out!

So what did you do on Valentine's Day? Did you wear any cute coords? Leave your story in the comments below.

Have a great weekend!
Lily