Package Report

Last Monday, I received a package containing one of my dream dresses - not just a wishlist dress, but a dress I thought I'd never find!

                                                            *insert drum roll*

Angelic Pretty's Shoulder Ribbon Jsk in tartan (2005 - the oldest dress in my wardrobe to date!)

I fell in love with this jsk many years ago when I discovered the Gothic and Lolita book made by the creators of FRUiTS. Even though I'm growing out of sweet lolita, many old school pieces and coordinates are near and dear to my heart, and I would like to be able to enjoy them while I can. 

It's only a little damaged at the shirring which isn't a big deal because the fit is fine overall (it's very roomy because the back is fully shirred, however, one should be careful to wear it because it does not have a zipper), and I could probably get it taken in if needed. For a dress that's been around since 2005, it's in a fairly solid condition! It arrived with an unsightly smell, but it held up nicely after being put in the washing machine! I had tried to air it out with baking soda paste, hand-washing in vinegar, and then finally putting it in the wash after the first two washing hacks produced minimal results. I was terrified that I'd end up with red lace or a badly damaged jsk just after getting it, but came out even better, and I can't wait to coordinate it now that the weather's cooling down. 

Now I just have to hunt down the matching head bow! (´°ω°`) 

The skirt is quite heavy because of the material (which is like a poly-cotton-wool) and that it's made with a built-in petticoat. The ribbons are not removable and it does not have a built in pockets, unfortunately. It makes me wonder when Angelic Pretty started incorporating hidden pockets in their skirts. 

Is the weather finally cooling down where you are too? Are you ready to start layering up or is your wardrobe falling behind? What sort of Autumn/Winter meetups are you looking forward to? What's the oldest piece in your wardrobe to date?

BONUS: AP tag circa 2005 and 2011

Another dumb style survey!

1) Do you wear empire waist dresses, and if so, what type of petticoat do you prefer to wear underneath? 

I do, but I really need to avoid them because they're so unflattering sometimes! I use a light A-line petticoat because bell-shaped ones are too full. 


2) Are you a rule breaker or a rules stickler when it comes to coordinates?

A stickler. I'm so painfully basic when it comes to lolita (and to some extent, my regular wardrobe). I don't think that rules hinder creativity anyway. 

3) Do you like to change up your coordinates entirely or do you prefer to refine your best co-ord ideas?

I guess it's a mix of both. I have a medium sized wardrobe and so I'm limited to what I currently have by mixing and matching. 

4) Do you do anything special for your nails when you wear Lolita casually? What about on Lolita occasions you consider formal?

Again I am painfully basic, but I'm also a contact lens wearer and so I don't do much with my nails except for keeping them trimmed and neat. Maybe I'll use a clear gloss for more casual coordinates. I usually paint a solid color that goes with my main piece for more formal events. 

5) What brand purchase do you regret most and why?

I have a couple of them, but I'm normally able to sell them back quick enough to not feel buyer's remorse. A bad one is a solid Baby jumperskirt and headbow because it wasn't popular enough to sell for close to retail price and it was a splurge. I am glad that it managed to get sold anyway. I also slightly regret a solid white Baby skirt that I still own for sentimental purposes. It was my first brand purchase from a physical shop - my first visit to Btssb Paris. It has gotten some wear at least, but surprisingly hard to coordinate a pain white skirt when one grew out of sweet lolita. I also removed the bows to make it easier to wear casually and turned them into hair ties when my hair was long, and so now I can't really part from it without selling it for scraps. I really should have splurged on the black version or got something less expensive like a head-bow. 

More recently I bought a floral high waist Bodyline skirt because I thought I'd ease myself into classic lolita and saw a lot of beautiful coordinates with it, but learned that high waist skirts were the most unflattering things on me. I managed to turn it into a regular waist skirt with great difficulty. It looks much nicer, but still needs some work - lace on the surged ruffles and lining fabric. I actually gave up after making the skirt more flattering and ended up donating it to the local Goodwill. Hopefully some lucky person will make great coords with it. 

6) Your favorite piece becomes slightly damaged. Do you repair, replace, or despair?
Despair and then fix.
I can deal with small damages. Depending on what and how bad it is, I can repair it myself or I'll find someone more talented and experienced than me to get it done. 


7) Rate your feelings about salopettes, twin tail wigs, chiffon blouses, and satin dresses. 1 = hate and 10 = love.

a) Salopettes: 4/10 
I like them, but never on me. My figure isn't waif-like to look good on it, and I have to avoid low-waist lines like the plague. Depending on the salopette, they can look pretty infantile and wear the wearer; I also notice that most people who wear them (or at least share coordinates publicly) tend to have the worst body types for such pieces. Sometimes they can look really great on people and I often envy that.

b) Twin-tail wigs: 5/10 
This is another hit or miss item. They only work with certain coordinates and face shapes. I notice that most people who wear these things in this day and age tend to be unseasoned lolitas who aren't familiar with current trends and so I'd see basic (cosplay) newbie mistakes like not trimming the bangs and purchasing cheaper quality wigs. 

c) Chiffon Blouses: 8/10
I love chiffon blouses, but they really suck if summers tend to be more humid than dry-heat where you live. They're great for making a coordinate more elegant, and a lot easier to find outside of lolita brands. 

d) Satin dresses: 5/10 
Another hit or miss to me. It depends on the quality grade of the satin. I usually avoid that type of fabric since I prefer to have more "daily" pieces as I don't go to fancy events all that much, and it'd be a pain to clean. I'm also a bit clumsy and afraid of getting the fabric snagged onto things. 

A Lolita Meetup and Community Survey

I found a survey on a forum that I thought of replying to, but realized that my answers were too long, and so I thought I'd put them here. I would love to read your answers too!

1) When's your next meet up? 
Next weekend.

2) How long has it been since your last meet? 
Excluding a private/mini meet with friends from a few weeks ago, it's been maybe 3 months since we had one with the whole comm invited

3) What's your average turn out? 
4-5

4) Does your comm do any larger events like OTTea Party?
Sadly no because we're a small comm, but I'd like that to change once the wave of newcomers actually start their own wardrobes. We try to do some themes like dressing up in red or pink for Valentine's Day though. The state's main comm hosts fancier meets a few times a year as they're much more established.

5) Have you ever hosted a meet? Would you be interested in hosting one in the future? 
Yes and yes, but I'd also like more general community involvement from the other members.

6) Do you feel like you fit in with your comm? 
Yes and no. I love the people I've known for years and we even hang out outside of lolita, but I'm also concerned about the new comers who are generally much younger and less experienced than us. As someone pointed out, people tend to fall into groups that they feel most comfortable with which in this case tend to be a group of older, experienced lolitas and younger members who are just starting out.  I suppose it's something that can't really be helped though. While the more experienced are more than happy to mentor newbies, it is a little difficult to keep conversation flowing when there are people who've known each other for years, let alone understand lolita culture while there's a group of people who don't know what Rufflechat even is.


7) What's one thing you like about your comm? 
We're a generally chill group. A lot of us share nerdy interests and so it usually makes it really easy for people to get along when they first meet.

8) What's one thing you would change about your comm? 

I wish that the inactive members would come out of the wood works! In addition to newcomers, there are a number of sweet people who regularly dress in lolita and other J-fashions, but are generally too shy to attend meets which I can understand as someone with anxiety, however, for once, I'd love for the community I've worked to put together over the years to actually feel like a community rather than just a handful of misfit friends getting together.

Perhaps this feeling stems from getting older. I've been lamenting about how I barely see people who are around my age and can call friends. It's definitely not like when as a kid, one can call up a neighbor on weekends to play or regularly go out and make friends in college. I realized after moving back home that a lot of people here are older or much younger than I, or if they're around my age, they've got children to look after and/or are working a lot to be able to socialize. It gets quite lonesome to only see co-workers and then go home every day, especially if one has interests as niche as lolita fashion.

It would be nice if we all lived much closer too, but you can't really help that - except perhaps with trying to encourage people to have private meets in their respective hometowns so they'd feel less shy about going to the regularly posted meets.

9) What's your dream meet up?
Aside of the ones I've mentioned in a previous post, I'd love to have a giant meet and greet that at least half of the registered members actually attend. I've been looking into renting a gallery space where we can have a potluck/afternoon tea, play lolita themed games, run a closet exchange, have a "photobooth", and do raffles that'd benefit the newbies with smaller wardrobes. It'd be really awesome if some of the shyer ones made an effort to come out and realize that we're not a bunch of frilly and evil brand elitists that bite and spread drama unlike what the internet says about lolitas.

The other dream meet would be a more private affair for those 18/21 and up. I'll admit that I am a degenerate, but I like the idea of a 4/20 meet or cocktail party that turns into a sleep over at a private residence. For the 4/20 meet, I'd like to make it a regular afternoon tea party while serving some of Madame Munchie's Macarons , change into our pajamas (I'd encourage guests to bring kawaii PJs), throw on a Jane Austin flick to make fun of while the high is still around, have some Gothic and Lolita Bibles around for people who prefer a quiet high, and order some pizza.

High Tea Party.
(Pic is not mine - too broke to smoke) 

For the cocktail party, I'd like it to be a retro themed event, harking inspiration from the cocktail parties of the 1960s, and encourage guests to dress in their finest Mad Men/Stepford Wives inspired coordinates. We'd have classic cocktails like sidecars and mint julips to pair with snacks to go around such as egg salad sandwiches, deviled eggs, potato salad, cheese and sausage plates, and strawberry gelatin cheesecake (because we can always get the jsk with full  back shirring, right?); cookbooks from that time are terrifying, but I think it'd be kind of fun to play with the bundt cake mold too.

WHAT ARE THOOOOSE!?!1?
(Photo credit: Good Housekeeping’s Perfect Parties)

 Of course, you couldn't host a cocktail party without some card games and gossip! I think it'd be fun to learn how to play classics like bridge, but also to play games like Cards Against Lolitas or even have a Loliopoly  board game. I would also make use of my record player which would play music from that decade in the background.To ensure the safety of the guests, I would be or would dedicate a guest to be the driver, offer Uber/cab/Lyft services, or encourage people to prepare to sleep over. If people decide to stay the night, I'd prepare the same way as mentioned above, but I think it'd be fun to have an array of film choices like Roman Holiday, the original Stepford Wives film, The Help, or Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, or even more lolita oriented films like Kamikaze Girls or Gothic Lolita Psycho (that is, if everyone can handle the over- the-top gory special effects AND if I can find the movie with English subs).

A fan-fiction in the making?!

In the previous post, I analyzed Novala Takemoto's Kamikaze Girls/Shimotsuma Monogatari, and the ending of the book got me wondering a lot about the character's impending future. Does Momoko ever leave Shimotsuma to live closer to her coveted lolita boutiques? Does she end up going to university or take the job offer at Baby, the Stars Shine Bright? Will she still be friends with Ichigo? Would Ichigo eventually replace her scooter with a real motorcycle? Will she still model on the side? Will Momoko still wear lolita?

The last question is sort of depressing because it reminded me of a conversation I had with a lolita friend about lolitas we used to follow during the egl livejournal days. We've noticed that then and now, there have been a lot of lolitas who dove into the fashion hard, earning them a lot of e-fame, only to fizzle out into obscurity, while there are still old-timers like us who've generally shied away from all that and still wear the fashion with little to no plans on stopping.

I'd like to believe that Momoko would still wear lolita all the way to her deathbed.

That being said, sometimes I like to imagine a sequel to Kamikaze Girls where Momoko is reaching or had finished high school, and is feeling conflicted about her Rococo values with expectations to grow up and earn a living. I think Ichigo and Momoko should still be friends, but maybe they grow somewhat apart because Ichigo is focusing on earning her motorcycle license and proper ride while working full time at the bike shop, and maybe she'll have a boyfriend of similar interest which renders Momoko yet again, a lone lolita. 

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if Momoko managed to make a lolita friend - someone to share her love for frills and go shopping on lucky pack season with. I'd hate for the friendship to be solely based on the fashion though. 

 I'd like to imagine that the summer after Momoko and Ichigo graduate, they'd meet a lolita visiting the Shimotsuma for summer vacation, and this lolita helps fill the empty void, but also sparks some jealousy from Ichigo (hey, a story has to have conflict or else it's not worth reading!). 

For now, let's call her Mariko, or Mari (pronounced like Mary) for short. I quite like the opposites attract aspect of Ichigo and Momoko's friendship, so I'd want to keep that with Momoko and Mariko. Instead of a sweet lolita, Mariko would be heavily into classic lolita, making her a die-hard Innocent World fan (I'd feature Mary Magdalene and Victorian Maiden if I could, but they're unfortunately dying brands) , and instead of being obsessed with 18th century France, Mariko would be a total Anglophile with her favorite time periods being the Victorian and the Edwardian. 

Mariko would have this obsession since childhood through her parents reading her Japanese translated works of classic children's literature like Alice in Wonderland (obligatory), Peter Rabbit, and The Little Princess. These stories would have been sources of comfort and reminded her of times when her parents got along, but now edging into young adulthood, her parents have decided to part ways, leaving her mother in Tokyo to pursue her dreams of becoming a politician while her father, a soft-spoken artist moves to Shimotsuma for quiet inspiration, prompting Mariko to visit the area to help him move. 

Unlike Momoko, Mariko has the choice and ability to live on her own, and is enrolled in university which offers her a study abroad opportunity to fulfill her dream of visiting England while (further) studying English and graphic design (I wanted Mariko to have her dad's artistic side with dreams of being a book illustrator while following her mom's practical advice of studying something useful). I'm thinking about having Mariko be a year or two older than Momoko so she can be somewhat of a mentor figure. 

I'd like Mariko to suggest Momoko to take her chances of leaving Shimotsuma for the job offer at Baby, and if that doesn't make her happy, she'll have the dress making skills to start her own brand. Momoko should also suggest learning French so she could make it a goal to visit Versailles rather than day-dreaming of going. 

I'm also considering this story to be held a year or two later because I'd like Momoko to see the dramatic changes of lolita fashion - when the fashion gets heavily influenced by other emerging Harajuku street fashions of the time, in particular decora's introduction to over-the-top sweet lolita, and when Maki and Asuka turned Angelic Pretty around into a sweet lolita power-house. I'd like for Momoko to see that the fashion have spread outside of Japan as well.  I wonder if she'd go along with the trends or feel jaded about how "costume-like" the fashion evolved and stick with her old-school sweet look, complete with Rocking Horse Shoes and maxi-pad headdress. 

In the case of moving the story forward a few years, then Mariko would have already graduated and work mostly from home as an English translator and freelance graphic designer/illustrator; perhaps the tides of time would be a stronger choice for Momoko's indecision over her future. I can see Momoko feeling somewhat envious of Mariko's life and believing that her new friend has got adulthood all figured out, but Mariko doesn't exactly feel that way especially considering her parent's recent divorce (who would be able to take care of them when they get older?) and in spite of being financially independent, she's constantly getting flack for being unmarried at her age, and isn't sure or thrilled about the idea of being tied down. Perhaps Mariko envies Momoko's longer experience dealing with a single parent and her patience and talent for embroidery. 

Either way, I'd like for Mariko to invite Momoko to visit her in Tokyo for a weekend for a lolita meetup of afternoon tea and shopping with some of the international lolita community of Tokyo. I've heard that in Japan, meets tend to be between a few friends rather than a community, and considering that Mariko could speak English, I imagine her fitting better with a group like that, and a group of lolitas would provide an interesting experience for Momoko who've always been a lone lolita and her only interactions with other lolitas were Baby's shop keepers. 

I've imagined Mariko living in a single's apartment quite similar to the one seen in Welcome to the NHK, except instead of being trashed like Sato's or filled wall to wall with otaku material like Kaoru's, she'd have shelves filled with books and movies about the UK, Victorian and Edwardian history, classic literature from authors like Jane Austin and Charles Dickens, a few souvenirs and photo albums from her stay in the UK, Gothic and Lolita Bibles, and a Pullip doll collaboration with Innocent World. She'd also have some of her illustrations up for display along with some posters and post cards from her favorite brand. Her furniture would be surprisingly practical for tiny urban apartment, however, she likes to dress up her table with a lace tablecloth from time to time, buy herself flower for her desk, and has a personal collection of tea sets.

 Naturally, her wardrobe is filled with classic lolita pieces which Momoko secretly makes fun of for looking too "granny". 

After helping Momoko settle in, I'd like for Mariko lend an ear to Momoko's problems over tea and cake - things like her fight with Ichigo, feelings of an indeterminate future, worries of not being able to wear lolita when she gets older, or that lolita doesn't make her feel as happy as it used to. Perhaps Mariko would advise Momoko to make up with Ichigo, give the job offer at Baby a try, and tell her that sometimes she doesn't feel like dressing up at all - that sometimes giving it a break or wearing it out with friends helps. I can see her joking about the lolita gods or the fashion police wouldn't smite or break Momoko's door for not wearing anything remotely frilly for a day. 

I know it doesn't sound like a particularly compelling plot compared to when Momoko had to rescue Ichigo, but as much as she hates it, I'd like to see Momoko explore growing up, however she defines it. I wonder if it'd be too unlike Momoko to see that one can be a lolita while pursuing a career or if the bitterness of growing up dead beat parents would have set her sights on an unhealthy unattainable fantasy. 

In Defense of Momoko

I believe that I mentioned a while ago that I had gotten into lolita fashion through Kamikaze Girls (or Shimotsuma Monogatari) which was advertised on Animerica's mini magazine at Waldenbooks (how I miss this shop!). I believe I was fourteen at the time I discovered the fashion, which is really crazy thinking how long ago that was now that I am twenty-five!

For those new to the fashion (and I welcome you!), the book is about a lonesome, sweet lolita named Momoko Ryugasaki who moves from the big city to the boonies, and incidentally befriends a wannabe biker-chick named Ichigo. It's no War and Peace, but it's the only few books that feature lolita fashion (pretty well), and it was adapted into manga and film. It's considered a hallmark piece in the lolita fashion subculture. I personally prefer the book and enjoy the film, but not the manga because skips out on much of the original content.

♥♥♥♥♥

Today, someone brought up the book/film in a conversation about individual's behaviors that would be considered "less than lolita". Personally, I don't care if lolitas engage in recreational drugs and/or alcohol on occasion, swear, and/or have sex - so long as they don't flaunt the actions for public viewing (in real life or for social media).

my face when edge lords

 Everyone is human, and with lolita being expensive rendering most wearers past their teens, one can assume that most lolitas have already done at least one of those things, and it doesn't make them less of a lolita. To me, a lolita is a lolita if they are able to put together a few coordinates and thoroughly enjoy the fashion.

♥♥♥♥♥

A couple of people brought up Momoko's less than maiden-like behaviors and attitudes, and while I agree that some of the things she did early on in the book are embarrassing to pretty-damn-low, I still don't think think it makes her less of a lolita, and the story isn't about how lolitas should or shouldn't behave (in spite of how much it was sprinkled within the book, according to the author): it's about an unlikely friendship; Japanese pop culture simply happens to be a vehicle in the story.

If you haven't familiarized yourself with Kamikaze Girls/Shimotsuma Monogatari. I suggest you do it before you continue reading, otherwise you'll see a lot of spoilers (unless you're like me who enjoys reading spoilers!).

♥♥♥♥♥

One person brought up how much of a special snowflake Momoko was - which is terribly true: she's obsessed with 18th century France that she does whatever she can to live out her maiden fantasy, whether she's dolled up for a walk along the rice paddies while pretending Shimotsuma was the rolling French countryside, or refusing to work for her brand because she found work "unmaiden-like".

Honestly, I'm more annoyed with the historical inaccuracies about 18th century Europe than I am about Momoko's fantasy because to me, Momoko is just a lonesome teenager looking for something to brighten up her bleak life and prospects. Her parents divorced when she was little and neither of them had good prospects in the first place (her mom was a high-school drop out turned cocktail waitress and her dad was on the bottom of the local Yakuza), and even though Momoko is certainly intelligent enough to move out of the working class, she doesn't really have a mentor to help lead her to a brighter future (save for Mr. Isobe toward the end of the book, but we never know if she decides to work along side him at Baby, the Stars Shine Bright). And teenagers in general are pretty self-centered; it's in their biology to carve out an identity and focus on oneself.

It helps to understand the story by familiarizing yourself with the author who goes under the pen-name, Novala Takemoto. He claims to be born in 1745, during the Rococo period (he's actually in his mid-forties now) which to me is a little more snow flake-like as an adult than if a teenager says it.

♥♥♥♥♥

Another person mentioned how Momoko had scammed her poor father into giving her money which was used to buy lolita. I don't think this kind of behavior is appropriate for anyone, lolita or otherwise, and thank goodness this is a work of fiction - though anyone who have been in the fashion for quite some time might be familiar with scammers within the lolita community and fashion production.

Momoko's early attempts to make money not only reinforces her characterization, but is also used to move the story along and provide comedic effect, in particular, irony, which is used quite heavily in the story. Given her background and motivation, it wouldn't make much sense for Momoko to pursue a part time job after school like most people would, and chances are, she might have been too young at the time she was leaching off her dad, and it wouldn't have reinforced the reason why she calls her dad, "the Loser". Her father was on the lowest rung in the Yakuza and couldn't even face getting his pinky chopped as a punishment, whereas Momoko who tries very hard to be a "pure Rococo maiden" was the Yakuza thug her father could never be.

The irony of characterization continues to be reinforced when she meets Ichigo and her double-crossing biker gang. Ichigo is a biker enthusiast and part of an all girl's biker gang, although she only rides a (seriously souped up) scooter, and even though she comes off as crass and puts up a tough exterior, she has a sweet tooth and even had a one-sided infatuation with a male character (which Momoko makes fun of her for). Ichigo originally called herself Ichiko to hide the fact that her real name means "strawberry" and feels an equal amount of discontent over her last name, Shirayuri is a flower. Likewise, Momoko hates that her name is associated with a Yanki manga character.

Another notable irony between Ichigo and Momoko is that although Ichigo isn't the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, she is sometimes the voice of reason. In spite of be a try-hard biker-chick, Ichigo did grow up in a proper nuclear family and was raised with conventional values which is why they're constantly questioning their moral values and judgement.

When Ichigo's biker gang was originally run by Akimi-san, it was purely about riding, but when she left, the band of misfits went under a different leadership with the goal of becoming the biggest and toughest all girl gang by resorting to bullying tactics. They were not exactly thrilled with Ichigo's involvement with Momoko and modeling gigs, and insisted in punishing Ichigo, but in spite of resorting to violence, Momoko was far more intimidating than all of the girls in the gang.

I don't believe Novala Takemoto condones Momoko's behaviors as presented in the book, nor would he believe them to be appropriate for lolitas, based on his essays and poems about lolita fashion, but once again, Kamikaze Girls isn't about that, nor should we put down Momoko because of her circumstances. 

After all, she does change for the better. 

♥♥♥♥♥

Lolita Meets - A Questionnaire

I found a little questionnaire about lolita meets and thought I'd share my experience here.

Tell us about the last meet you hosted, what went wrong? What did everyone love? 

The last meet I hosted was the historical home tour which I mentioned in a previous post. The weather was perfect a picnic on the grounds and we got to do some shopping afterwards. Nothing really went wrong, but I did wish we had more time together, however, it worked out anyway with half of our group needing to go home since they were coming from out of town, and the rest of us went out for coffee.

Are games important? What games are better, in your opinion?

They are and they aren't. Games are great for  meets that aren't centered around a specific activity (e.g.: museum visit, shopping, etc.) and useful for meets that have more new comers than long time participants because they can help break the ice. Not all games are made the same. I wouldn't recommend a lolita version of Cards Against Humanity when a meet has more newbies than veterans because there are a lot of inside jokes involved. Card and board games in general are good, so long as they don't take up much time. One should try to make time for socializing at meets.

I like the Chicago Megameet tradition of Lolita Bingo: each space has a clothing feature commonly seen in lolita and you have to go out your way to find and greet people wearing those things. I've always wanted to play a lolita version of Pictionary or Pin the Bow on Mana-Sama.

What happened at the last meet you attended? What did you really want out of it that you either didn't get, or didn't expect to see there? What was the most memorable part of your experience?

The last meet I attended was really a private get-together with two others friends for tea at Vanille Patisserie. We were bummed that one of our friends couldn't make it so it ended up being the three of us, but at least we got the special treatment of moving into the (semi) private room usually reserved for larger parties. As we were making moves, we met a older lady who mistakenly thought we were Mori-Girls (maybe my coord kind of gave off that idea?). It was pretty surprising that she even knew what that was.

We received one tiered cake stand of food, and in spite of sharing it among three of us, I didn't expect to be stuffed for several hours. The staff gave us perhaps one of the best services I've ever had and they even gave us a free macaron to take home (which I accidentally smashed on the way home T_T). The only thing I didn't like was having to deal with a live musician while we were eating/socializing. It couldn't really be helped since they tend to do live open-mic performances at the cafe anyway, but it was pretty distracting. One thing I've learned over the years is that music can enhance or distract (a meet up), and sometimes it's best to avoid the latter by not using it at all in times of eating.

After tea, we walked to the Lincoln Park Zoo (though it was closing) and the gardens in front of the conservatory for photos, and then hung out a former hotel across the street (mostly to use the restroom), and we were pleasantly surprised that the lobby and public corridor were well decorated - the lobby was made to look like an old fashioned library (I believe the books are fake though) and there was a replica of a Baroque painting tapestry. Toward the end of our meet, we ended up browsing through Closet of Frills together in the vacant breakfast lobby before splitting up.

What was the most satisfying/impressive food set up you've ever seen?
Hmm, this is kind of tough because I've been to many tea rooms and meet ups involving food. I would probably say this year's Chicago Megameet (sorry, I don't have photos!) because we had the space to place potluck dishes in three different areas: one for non-gluten free foods, another for gluten-free, and a space for drinks, including hot tea (in which a member even brought in teacups and saucers to use), and fortunately for us, we had a stocked kitchenette to prepare, set, and clean up everything. I'm still a little bummed that I wasn't feeling my best that day because there was so much food and I couldn't bring myself to sample everyone's dishes.

I would also say that tea at the Drake was very satisfying because I was able to eat my fill without feeling overwhelmed by carbohydrates and sweets - it was probably one of the more healthier of afternoon tea set ups I've encountered.

Meets in private residences, are they ever a good idea?
They can be. If the place is spacious enough, and the host(ess) puts an effort into decorating and keeping the event running smoothly, it can work out. I usually like private meets because I like being able to be with my community and friends without being bothered by curious onlookers.

I've never run across anything bad going to private residences for lolita meets, but I can understand why some people are leery about the whole idea. Most people prefer to reserve it for those in their inner circle to avoid potential drama and/or damage to property, and hosting a private meet like that is difficult to do unless you have the space for entertaining - and unfortunately, many of us can't exactly afford to be home owners, let alone are lucky enough to pay rent with lolita roommates or for oneself.

My Personal Style Questionnaire

Someone posted a questionnaire on a forum and I thought it'd be fun to fill out and share. I'd love to read your responses too!

1) Do you wear lolita everyday, whenever you can, or only at meets?

I mainly wear lolita to meets, and when the weather is cooler, I'd wear it when I really feel up to it on my days off. If I live in a less conservative area and had a much bigger disposable income, I think I'd feel more comfortable wearing on a weekly basis.

 2) How many ott vs normal looking vs casual or toned down main pieces and accessories do you own?Probably 1 over the top piece and the rest being comparatively toned downed pieces and accessories. The ott piece isn't very ott by today's standards, but it has many ruffles and it's hard to coordinate for just going out casually in.

I'm actually in the process of selling half of my wardrobe, but this might give you an idea of what my style is/was like. 

 3) Do you own more prints or basic color pieces?

 I own more patterns with simple prints or simple prints than solid colors now, but it used to be quite the opposite. It would be nice to own one OTT print.

 4) What color schemes are the ones you like wearing the most? (please be specific, don't just say "red" or "pink" but specify what they look like or what hue they are) 

Definitely reds. There aren't any specific shades I prefer since the color itself tends to work with my skintone, but I absolutely hate reds as well because it's so hard to coordinate accessories like head-bows and shoes because brands version of reds are not created equally (it doesn't help that I tend to shop second hand, and so for some reason, sellers tend to sell the pieces separately, making it hard to hunt matching sets).  If it were easier to find and not as expensive, I'd like to own more navy and other jeweled toned pieces, especially in plum (seriously, why are dark purples are hard to find?!). I'm ok with muted pastels like a dusty pink, in particular, but I have to avoid Earthy tones and regular pastels.

I also have a fondness for all black pieces, as I've expressed in one of my previous posts.

 5) How do you like your hair/wigs? Any length, color or hairstyle? 

I've almost always worn my hair naturally. I have a natural colored and styled wig (though a different color than my own), but I've grown to hate it because the maintenance and fitting. Maybe I'll have better luck with a different brand. My hair is currently longer than bob length which I curl sort of a Kimbra style, but when it was long, I've had it up in a donut bun, a ponytail (curled or uncurled) for casual looks, and curled as well.

6) Is there any particular trend that you love? 
Not really a trend, but I like that old-school looks are sort of making a come-back, and the coordinates are way more cohesive than in the past. I also kind of have a thing for coordinates worn without blouses.

I'm kind of weird when it comes to trends. I usually enjoy seeing new things get tried with lolita up until (new) people without a sense of direction start piling on all sorts of trendy items at once. I'm usually a quiet observer: doing my own thing, a little behind on the times (I've gotten comments about my wardrobe being out of date), and seeing new things crop up every month. I think part of it has to do with the very nature of Harajuku youth street fashions - it's been like this since Harajuku became a neighborhood for American families to settle down in. Close proximity to everything created a lot of trends and micro-trends to appear at an alarming rate, and the internet is making it much faster that I feel exhausted by the whole thing. I've seen a lot happen in the past ten years, and although I've expressed interest in expanding my style, I'm also quite content wearing what I like, how I like to.

7) Do you consider yourself sweet, classic, gothic, a combination of some, or wear all styles? 

I've worn all three styles, but I think non-ott classic suits me the best.

 8) What substyles of lolita do you like? Sailor Lolita? Country Lolita? Punk Lolita? 

Definitely sailor lolita which sucks because a lot of the pieces tend to run small or a bit of a challenge to wear because of the big collars, and there aren't as many open neck cutsews or blouses to wear sailor dresses with. I usually wear country lolita in the summer and I still find it very endearing because of the old-school elements like gingham and fruit prints.


 9) What other fashions do you wear? 
My every day style is really boring (t-shirts and jeans), at least until the weather gets cooler so I can start layering pieces;as for J-Fashion, I've given mori-girl and fairy-kei a try, but I've found that otome-kei and ojikawa-kei suits me best. I seriously can't wait to bust out the tights and skirts, and dressy pants and sweaters!

I adore neo-dandy looks that take inspiration from preppy Ivy League fashion and classic Ralph Lauren pieces. It makes me sad that dandyism is almost exclusively a male-centric fashion (thanks, Beau Brummel), but I'm glad that while unpopular, Ojikawa-kei is a thing for girls who want to meld cuteness with masculine pieces. 

10) Is there anything you had always wanted to try in lolita?
 I've always wanted to wear a bonnet. I love hats and have a sizable collection to wear with lolita, but never a bonnet because I've found them quite risky to wear, and even if it were flattering, they'd be saved for fancy meets which seldom occur in my community, and so I haven't found it economical to buy one yet.

11) What themes influence you the most and build your wardrobe around?
I guess for my more OTT attempts because old-school styles are near and dear to my heart, I quite like the antique doll look: lots of frills, lace, and ruffles, ringlets, peaking bloomers, and clunky heels. I love witches and fairytales, but don't really do any costume-like coordinates, unfortunately. 

For everything else, I like polkadots, florals, berries, and pastry prints (like bold Emily Temple Cute patterns rather than Melty Cream Donut). My eyes tend to seek out for these things when I'm window shopping. 

12) What outer sources influence you in lolita? (Examples: Betsy Clark, Holly Hobbie, Sanrio, a play, a movie, an anime, a book, etc)
My wardrobe doesn't accurately reflect this, but I really look up to Audrey Hepburn as a person as much as she an actress and style icon. I like the idea of (wearing) timeless classics and combining comfort with style, as well as (an appearance of) effortlessness. Over the top styles are fun, but simply not for me, and I think I'm my most happiest when I'm comfy. I also adore the costumes Mary Lennox wore in The Secret Garden (1993), and I often find myself wearing coordinates inspired by them. I like the idea of dressing up as an upper-middle class child living out in a country estate (because young women/women my age would have already been wearing long skirts with bustles, however, I've always wanted to try aristocrat).  I also enjoy darker versions of classic lolita (since I don't really go full on Goth) and wear kuro lolita, emulating some kind of mourning attire inspired coordinate. 

13) And finally, what time period do you like mixing in your lolita wardrobe the most? 

I think it's a mix of (but not altogether) Edwardian children's wear for fancier meets, and mid-1950s through 1960s for casual ones. I absolutely love pinafore dresses and I'm still on the hunt for Meta's pintuck tiered jsks in almost all of the colorways. I think it's an interesting time period because it was when children were breaking away from dressing up like their parents, and their clothes were back to being kid-centric, making it easier to romp around in.

I enjoy visiting vintage stores/antique malls/retro upcycling boutiques for much of my lolita accessories, and I love trying on pill box hats and coordinating them with lolita. I also like pieces such as simple peter pan collared cutsews, Meta's letter jacket styled parkas (I regret selling mine), and mod pumps (why are these so hard to find?!). I like the idea of making retro coordinates inspired by Jackie-O. Due to being a person of color, I wouldn't have been welcomed in the 1950s-60s, but I certainly love the fashions, even when crinoline skirts stopped being in vogue.

I'd really like to try a 1920s inspired coordinate someday, even though it's the antithesis of lolita fashion, although, I do recall Juliette et Justine once making overtly frilly pieces inspired by 1920s evening wear.

A Few Things To Darken Up Your Day

Can't wait for Halloween? Or is every day Halloween for you? Here are a few things I've stumbled upon that'll help get you into the spirit.

The Lure - Introduction and Trailer: NSFW


A Polish Goth musical film about man-eating mermaids :D

Balam Acab's new single: The Midnight Hour ft. Sarah Chernoff


Woman Decides to Wear Black on Her Wedding Day

Check out this creepy coloring book

Feeling Nostalgic

Day #220 of Lace a la Mode's Lifestyle Lolita Challenge asked to share a dress you no longer own and why, and it got me going back to my old photobucket page (I have no idea why I still have this account) where I rediscovered dozens of items I used to own. It's a little bittersweet seeing how far I've come as a lolita, starting with off-brand loliables, to pieces from Bodyline and defunct indie brands, to owning mostly from the major lolita brands. It's also quite bittersweet remembering how much smaller I once was. When I was starting to collect Japanese brand pieces, I was small enough to wear Beth pieces which didn't go bigger than 26" around the waist (by the way, if you're new and reading this, Beth is a defunct sister brand of Victorian Maiden which makes classic lolita).

The piece I had in mind is Angelic Pretty's Glitter Trump JSK in sax which came from a set from Rose Chocolat, a defunct Korean brand that was infamous for their Rocking Horse Shoes replicas, but also sold some second hand Japanese lolita brands and a few original pieces.

I'm so relieved I had saved this image

Proof (is in the poof)
The set also came with some free goodies: a mini-top hat with plush "candies" glued onto it and a chain necklace with a plush bear and more of those candies. It was a nice gesture, but did not match at all.

This set weren't my first lolita brand pieces, but it certainly marked the year I finally got the grasp of the fashion and really felt like a lolita. I had saved up for this set for several months at a part time job so I could get it in time for Anime Central 2011, which featured H.Naoto and Gashicon, the character designer of Hangry and Angry (my only disbelief is that the year after was when Angelic Pretty first came to ACen and I couldn't go that year). I happened to be out of the house when it was delivered to my house, and my neighbor had taken it to her place because the delivery person plopped it in front of the door even though it was pouring out. It's funny remembering that it was delivered in a flat screen tv box.

I remember trying to coordinate it for the first time and as I was smoothing down my skirt, I accidentally stuck my hands in hidden pockets! I believe this was before Hello Lace was made, and so I also discovered that it was made with a built in petticoat. Every lolita skirt should come with pockets and built in pettis. I think my only complaint was how awkwardly small the head-bow was, but pretty much from that point on, I understood the hype surrounding Angelic Pretty. I used to give this brand and Metamorphose shit for their bad stock photos (and I sometimes still do, to be fair).

I'm kind of bummed that I couldn't find any other coordinate photos except from when I wore it to ACen that year, but even without them, I still remember the joy and times of wearing it. Unfortunately, I had to let it go because I was no longer able to fit in it comfortably, and I thought it was best to move onto more mature styles.

When I made the decision to sell the set, I've come to realize what my needs are in terms of creating a "complete" lolita wardrobe, in which I'd have to avoid any main piece without shirring, even if I wanted it very badly. Although that shade of sax wasn't particularly unflattering, it was probably the last time I was willing to purchase pastels. Being a more discerning consumer isn't fun, but it's definitely helped my wardrobe be more cohesive and I'm not selling pieces as much as I used to. My hope is that I'll be able to get to a point where I'm more satisfied with it, and that I would be better about taking photos of my coords to look back on!

What pieces did you used to own and why did you sell it? Did you also make any drastic changes? Did you have any fond memories wearing said pieces? 

My Ideal Lolita Hangout

Day 191 of the 365 Lifestyle Lolita Challenge on Lace a la Mode's facebook page suggests to doodle your ideal lolita hangout, and although I could sketch away, I think that this is warranted for a blog post. At first I imagined some sort of shabby chic tea house, but realized that if this is a viable business (and there are many shabby chic tea houses in existence), the proprietor would have to cater to the general market, and having to put up with suburban moms is not really my ideal lolita hangout.

I'm a fan of private meetups at friend's houses. It's quite pleasant to be in a space with friends away from curious onlookers. I think my ideal lolita hang out would be a room in my own house that is dedicated to all things shabby chic and lolita fashion - a drawing room, if you will. It will be a place where I can invite my lolita friends over or enjoy in my own time. I'd like it to be the bigger spare room with a large closet space specifically for my lolita wardrobe (and big enough for my partner would be a plus!) with a desk for sewing or as an office space (the sewing materials and machine are hidden away until use). I'd like to place a French Louis XV styled couch on the opposite side of the room, and for space saving sake, have shelves where my plushies can hang out with the books and antique decor. The closet space will have plenty of pieces for new comers to try on for the on-site meets, and I'd like a full length mirror with a decorated frame so they can do their makeup in front of.

The floor would be empty except for a low, fold up table and thick pillow cushions that can be used when guests are visiting for tea (though the regular dining room would be used for bigger gatherings). It can be folded up and put away in the lolita wardrobe, and in the winter, I could attach it with a portable kotatsu. I can finally get around using a white, lace edged tablecloth.

The walls would probably be white with wood paneling or crown and moulding, a light pink, a light blue, or some kind of floral wall papering in a light color. I can't decide on that yet, but I know that I'd like a large window, preferably a bay window with shelving, and I can place other stuffed animals on top of a cushion against the window.

Sorry, I don't know the source to this pic!

In addition to the spare room, I'd like my backyard to have a beautiful flower and kitchen garden, and deck so I can host tea outdoors or a picnic by the flowers.

from handymaninmesa

I'd probably tone down the shabby chic decor for the backyard area for functionality and also in case I have to entertain family or friends who aren't into kawaii or lolita stuff. The rest of the house will probably be somewhat suitable for "normal" tastes as well, with the exception of a China display case for my tea ware collection!

After reading through this draft, it got me thinking about how weird it sounds to have a house that's mostly "normie" with a special room to stash all things kawaii instead of having a house that's exploding in kawaii or whatever is the alternative. Maybe I'm just getting older and thinking about things on a "practical" level, or maybe this is a reflection on how I feel about my cute, childish stuff: I tend to keep lolita and work life separate, even though lolita and my love for all things cute is very much a part of me. And maybe it's ok to also have it projected in an imaginary house. It kind of doesn't help that I like the idea of minimalism. I'm sure I'll get tired or feel cumbersome about the place I come home to if it's roof to basement covered in all things cute, and a special room for all that junk would be a nice retreat from the boring world, just like wearing lolita on special occasions. 

What would be your ideal lolita hangout? Would you also like to have a special room for your things to show off or covet, or have your own house be completely decked out in your favorite style? Would you go as far as wanting a historical home? Or perhaps you have ideas of the perfect lolita friendly location: a bakery or cafe made by and for lolitas? A boutique with a special room for private meets?

Let me know in the comments below! 

My Ideal Wardrobe

It's kind of funny how in spite of being in the fashion for many years, I still haven't quite gotten to my ideal wardrobe yet - let alone one I feel satisfied with, and it doesn't help that for many, we're always finding more things we think we need to "complete" them. 

My wardrobe have seen ups and downs, starting with babby's first pieces, to my sweet lolita phase (in which I learned that pastels looked bad on me), from wearing exclusively kuro lolita (because I was too afraid to get out of my comfort zone), some hiatus, to wanting to go back to old-school styles, and more recently, attempts at a more "daily" lolita wardrobe. 

If money weren't an issue and my dream pieces were easier to hunt for, I would start with the following:

1) Lots of blouses and other tops 

I'm not considered plus-sized, but it seems to be quite rare for a Japanese brand lolita blouse to fit comfortably and not feature so many frills and lace and a wide peter pan collars.

Having a wide variety of tops, including cutsews and boleros is important for flushing out a lolita wardrobe. I'm currently putting a lot of thought into a taobao spree (lol) on blouses in the near future.

2) Lots of Little Black (lolita) Dresses 

My current wardrobe is currently a mix of otome-like sweet pieces and classic, but I'm still a huge sucker for all black pieces. I can't help finding them very underrated and beautiful. It's one of the things my brain unconsciously searches for when I'm hunting for unrelated pieces in the auctions. Here's some of the LBDs I'm looking out for: 

3) One pieces

I used to not like these because there's not a whole lot of coordinating that goes on with one piece dresses, but I've come to appreciate their simplicity and practicality, especially in warmer weather. My problem is that most one pieces, at least the ones I like do not have shirring, and my body is dumb for wanting to shift weights on a frequent basis, so I'm paranoid about pieces not fitting and insist that every main piece has shirring. Fortunately, I'm not the only one with this problem. 

Dear Brands: PLEASE MAKE MORE OPs WITH SHIRRING!!!

4) Wishlist Dresses 

Help a lolita out? 

5) Dream Dresses

For me, the difference between wishlist and dream dresses are that wishlist pieces are somewhat obtainable (although, for some reason, in spite of most of the pieces above being quite basic, they're difficult to find, especially in the colorways I want them in), and dream pieces are items that I've wanted for years (some since I got into lolita some 8-9 years ago) and are not going to fit me at all, unfortunately.
 For example:

6) Casual pieces and more shoes

Again, it's that notion of having pieces to flush out a wardrobe, but for me, it's also that long held idea of becoming a "daily" lolita. I'd like to have a wardrobe that includes a number of fancy pieces or pieces that can easily be dressed up for meets and other special events while having casual items that can be worn when doing things like running errands. 

Like this, but with classic and some old school pieces, a collection of LBDs, otome-kei/casual pieces, and a lot of vintage accessories. 

What sort of things would help achieve your ideal wardrobe?

Waiting for Autumn

In my opinion and experience, summer and Lolita Fashion go together as well as peanut butter and sardines. It gets hot and humid where I live, and even with the necessarily precautions and tips from other lolita bloggers and communities, it's not really worth getting dressed up in layers if your makeup melt off, wig wilts, and blouse sticks to your skin as soon as you step out of your house. Also in my experience, it's quite hard to get people together for meets in the summer due to it being con season, wedding season, and family vacations, which is why I can't wait for the weather to cool down and the leaves start changing colors.

There's a lot of buzz about Halloween on some forums and on my facebook feed, and it's got me thinking about meets to start planning for! 

1) Apple Orchards:

This is kind of a no-go for me because apple farms aren't the most lolita friendly places to go to unless you manage to dodge little kids and avoid or be super careful feeding the farm animals. At the same time, I think it's still doable as many orchards double as local tourist spots with gift shops, bakeries, and restaurants, and offer hay rides, and it's a quintessential thing to do, especially if you live in the Midwest, East Coast, or Northwest Coast of America. My suggestion is to wear your lightest petticoat, save your best brand for later, and dress for comfort. 

I.CAN'T.WAIT.

2) Haunted Tours:

If you're in America, chances are your local park or historical society hosts local tours of haunted history until the end of October. It's a chance to dress up in your best mourning coord while learning about your area's spooky spots. 

3) A Gothic Picnic: 

If your area does not do tours nor celebrate Halloween, you can still go out in your 19th century widow's inspired coord (or not if you prefer) and dine with the dead. It was once a common activity during the mid-1800s up until World War I when park-like cemeteries were being developed, and it was a way to connect with family lost due to high (infant) mortality rates. If considering this option, please contact the manager for permission and advice as to where to picnic, and please be respectful of the dead and their family and friends. 

4) Halloween Party: 

This is a given, but you can make it lolita-centric by encouraging your community to dress up in coords that are otherwise seen as a no-no any other time of the year. Bust out your most OTT Gothic coord, clash your favorite fandom with the lolita silhouette, or dress up as the scariest beast known to all lolitas: the dreaded Milanoo lace-monster. 

5) Get a psychic reading:

If ghosts and monsters aren't your style, you still celebrate the Halloween spirit by getting your fortune told. See if your dream dress is in your future.

6) Friendsgiving Potluck meet:

And the best part is that you don't have to be American to enjoy a warm meal with friends. 

7) Winery meet 

If you're lucky to live near one, Autumn is the best time of the year to check out a winery because the good haul of wedding season is over and most wineries start their harvest in the fall (unless you're in California in which grapes are harvested in July and August). 

8) Fall baking meet

If you or the majority of your community are not of drinking age, make quintessential Autumn pastries instead! Autumn is the perfect time of the year to bakes tarts and pies, pumpkin spice breads, or even decorate cupcakes with seasonal motifs.

9) Fall crafting meet 

Cooler weather means it's time to bust out the warm layers. My suggestion is to hold a crafting meet to learn how to knit. Who knows, you might need that tea cozy or a hand warmer in time for winter lolita day. 

10) Start shopping 

I'm one for enjoying this short lived season for as long as I can and not think about Christmas until it's December, but some advice from veteran lolita to newcomers: if you want to order from taobao, this is the best time of the year to get it over with because you don't want to wait for your coat and lolita wardrobe essentials until it arrives after the Chinese New Year. 

Are you looking forward for Autumn too? Share your ideas for awesome fall-centric lolita meets that I may have missed! 

Realizations from Lolita Fashion

Hello! Long time no post. I'd like to thank anyone who's been waiting for posts with baited breath. Thank you very much for your patience. I've honestly haven't been very busy at all, especially with being in between jobs (this has been a terrible, terrible year for me - I probably should move to state that actually has jobs), and with that weighing on my mind, I haven't felt all too inspired to make a post, put together coordinates (doesn't help that it's been hot out), nor mustered up any courage to host meets for my local community.

It's really bumming me out because the annual Midwest Megameet (or Chicago mega meet) is coming up in less than two weeks, and I've had a lot of plans that I was hoping to put in forth this year such as putting together goodie bags, buying lots of raffle prizes (really wanted to collect a bunch of brand novelty items), and search around auctions for the right pieces to coordinate.

Hopefully, I can feel satisfied putting together a coordinate with pieces I already own, still have fun at the meet, and that next year my financial situation improves greatly.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

A few days ago, someone on Rufflechat asked:

What was your biggest realization when you finally started getting more involved in the fashion?

I originally thought of replying on the thread, but saw that my response was going to be too long. Here are a couple of things that I realized when I got more involved in the fashion:

1) Quality over Quantity:
I'm not going to go through this much since it's been said many times when the topic periodically pops up, but like a lot of lolitas, I've come to be a more conscious consumer. I used to never care about garments so long as they fit and was cheap. 

2) It's more than just clothes: It can change lives:
I don't know why, but this fashion does tend to attract people who suffer from mental illness, and I've read a number of stories about how people have found solace through it by finding others like themselves to talk to and feeling happier in frills for a day.

Fortunately, I don't quite belong in that camp, but while it looks like silly clothes, I've found that it has changed my life considerably as well. I was always a pretty shy kid and growing up, I only had a few friends I can easily relate to (I guess that's still true), but getting into lolita helped me reach out to people rather than waiting for them to reach me.

I've done a lot of event planning for the local park district and have gone to big events like festivals, but being involved in lolita fashion continues to fuel one of my dreams of being a professional event planner. I really love seeing people come together over a common interest.

3) I can makeup and dress better now 
This is another common realization that comes with the fashion. I was a tomboy for many years and it wasn't until I got into lolita that I started caring about how I present myself, put practice, and understand how clothes are supposed to fit.

4) Being a lolita is tough
This goes without saying for other street youth fashions, but I feel like this is especially true with lolita fashion because it's less familiar in the mainstream. I know a lot of people who are mere admirers of the fashion and so I hear a lot of, "It's so cute, but I could never wear it", and I notice that while there are many lurkers in online communities, only a handful actually make the effort to obtain the fashion and wear it.

The next step is learning how to deal with curious on-lookers and people who approach with questions and comments (good or bad). I've heard of people leaving the fashion because it was hard to enjoy the fashion without having to deal with such people.

I've also heard of and know people who've left lolita because of the communities. It can be really discouraging to have to put up with trolls, drama pages, vendettas, and even just facing criticism. One really must be able to handle all of this and find many rewarding factors to be able to get into and stay in the fashion.

And last, but not least, we've come to the point of in the fashion that people question how long one would be willing to continue to wear lolita as they age. Fortunately, we've got people like Yumi Fujiwara of Innocent World who still do, and it's my hope that there will be plenty of us old-timers getting together for a break outside of our otherwise boring adult lives for tea in frills.

What are some things you realized when you got into lolita?