1) When's your next meet up?
Next weekend.
2) How long has it been since your last meet?
Excluding a private/mini meet with friends from a few weeks ago, it's been maybe 3 months since we had one with the whole comm invited
3) What's your average turn out?
4-5
4) Does your comm do any larger events like OTTea Party?
Sadly no because we're a small comm, but I'd like that to change once the wave of newcomers actually start their own wardrobes. We try to do some themes like dressing up in red or pink for Valentine's Day though. The state's main comm hosts fancier meets a few times a year as they're much more established.
5) Have you ever hosted a meet? Would you be interested in hosting one in the future?
Yes and yes, but I'd also like more general community involvement from the other members.
6) Do you feel like you fit in with your comm?
Yes and no. I love the people I've known for years and we even hang out outside of lolita, but I'm also concerned about the new comers who are generally much younger and less experienced than us. As someone pointed out, people tend to fall into groups that they feel most comfortable with which in this case tend to be a group of older, experienced lolitas and younger members who are just starting out. I suppose it's something that can't really be helped though. While the more experienced are more than happy to mentor newbies, it is a little difficult to keep conversation flowing when there are people who've known each other for years, let alone understand lolita culture while there's a group of people who don't know what Rufflechat even is.
7) What's one thing you like about your comm?
We're a generally chill group. A lot of us share nerdy interests and so it usually makes it really easy for people to get along when they first meet.
8) What's one thing you would change about your comm?
I wish that the inactive members would come out of the wood works! In addition to newcomers, there are a number of sweet people who regularly dress in lolita and other J-fashions, but are generally too shy to attend meets which I can understand as someone with anxiety, however, for once, I'd love for the community I've worked to put together over the years to actually feel like a community rather than just a handful of misfit friends getting together.
Perhaps this feeling stems from getting older. I've been lamenting about how I barely see people who are around my age and can call friends. It's definitely not like when as a kid, one can call up a neighbor on weekends to play or regularly go out and make friends in college. I realized after moving back home that a lot of people here are older or much younger than I, or if they're around my age, they've got children to look after and/or are working a lot to be able to socialize. It gets quite lonesome to only see co-workers and then go home every day, especially if one has interests as niche as lolita fashion.
It would be nice if we all lived much closer too, but you can't really help that - except perhaps with trying to encourage people to have private meets in their respective hometowns so they'd feel less shy about going to the regularly posted meets.
9) What's your dream meet up?
Aside of the ones I've mentioned in a previous post, I'd love to have a giant meet and greet that at least half of the registered members actually attend. I've been looking into renting a gallery space where we can have a potluck/afternoon tea, play lolita themed games, run a closet exchange, have a "photobooth", and do raffles that'd benefit the newbies with smaller wardrobes. It'd be really awesome if some of the shyer ones made an effort to come out and realize that we're not a bunch of frilly and evil brand elitists that bite and spread drama unlike what the internet says about lolitas.
The other dream meet would be a more private affair for those 18/21 and up. I'll admit that I am a degenerate, but I like the idea of a 4/20 meet or cocktail party that turns into a sleep over at a private residence. For the 4/20 meet, I'd like to make it a regular afternoon tea party while serving some of Madame Munchie's Macarons , change into our pajamas (I'd encourage guests to bring kawaii PJs), throw on a Jane Austin flick to make fun of while the high is still around, have some Gothic and Lolita Bibles around for people who prefer a quiet high, and order some pizza.
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| High Tea Party. (Pic is not mine - too broke to smoke) |
For the cocktail party, I'd like it to be a retro themed event, harking inspiration from the cocktail parties of the 1960s, and encourage guests to dress in their finest Mad Men/Stepford Wives inspired coordinates. We'd have classic cocktails like sidecars and mint julips to pair with snacks to go around such as egg salad sandwiches, deviled eggs, potato salad, cheese and sausage plates, and strawberry gelatin cheesecake (because we can always get the jsk with full back shirring, right?); cookbooks from that time are terrifying, but I think it'd be kind of fun to play with the bundt cake mold too.
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| WHAT ARE THOOOOSE!?!1? (Photo credit: Good Housekeeping’s Perfect Parties) |
Of course, you couldn't host a cocktail party without some card games and gossip! I think it'd be fun to learn how to play classics like bridge, but also to play games like Cards Against Lolitas or even have a Loliopoly board game. I would also make use of my record player which would play music from that decade in the background.To ensure the safety of the guests, I would be or would dedicate a guest to be the driver, offer Uber/cab/Lyft services, or encourage people to prepare to sleep over. If people decide to stay the night, I'd prepare the same way as mentioned above, but I think it'd be fun to have an array of film choices like Roman Holiday, the original Stepford Wives film, The Help, or Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, or even more lolita oriented films like Kamikaze Girls or Gothic Lolita Psycho (that is, if everyone can handle the over- the-top gory special effects AND if I can find the movie with English subs).
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